Remember to remember me, forget to forget me.
Even if u try to remember to forget me I'll never forget to remember to remind u to remember me.

Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire.
as..
.
.
.
.
I want to become a billionaire.

:Cap_PDT_01_07:

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women and then he turns them into Wives.
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If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that
he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going
thru hell.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

you r super Mijac

Thanks! im honored

Suddenly one of the employees in an organization took 10 days Leave without any notice. When he returned his PL asked for explanation. The employee said "Sir, my mom died unexpectedly" . The PL let it go at that.

After 3 months the same pattern repeated, and this time he said his father died. Then the PL got changed. After 3 months the same pattern repeated. And the employee gave the explanation that his mom died.

After 3 months same thing again... and this time his father died. This happened repeatedly for 2 years. At the end, one PL checked his past records and told him, "I have caught you red handed, How come in the past 2 years, your mom has died 5 times, and your dad has died five times?"

To which the guy said, "Sir, my mom died and my father remarried. Then my father died and my new mom remarried. Then my mom died and the new father remarried. This has been going on and on and on and..."!!!!!

Office Humour :

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been
promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation. So he decided
to walk up to his HR Manager. His manager looked at him, smiled and asked
him to sit down saying:

"My friend you have not worked here for even a single day." The man was
surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager: How many days are there in a year?

Man: 365 days and sometimes 366.

Manager: How many hours make up a day?

Man: 24 Hours.

Manager: How long do u work in a day?

Man: 10am to 6pm i.e 8 hours a day.

Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?

Man: He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 i.e 1/3 (one third).

Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?

Man: 122(1/3 x 366=122 in days)

Manager: Do u come to work on weekends?

Man: No sir.

Manager: How many days r there in a year that r weekends?

Man: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.

Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days
do u now have?

Man: 18 days.

Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days
from the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining?

Man: 4 days.

Manager: Do u work on Republic Day?

Man: No sir!

Manager: Do u come to work on Independance Day?

Man: No sir!

Manager: So how many days r left?

Man: 2 days Sir!

Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day?

Man: No sir!

Manager: So how many days r left?

Man: 1 day sir!

Manager: Do u work on Christmas Day?

Man: No Sir!

Manager: So how many days r left?

Man: None Sir!

Manager: So what r u claiming?

Man: I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing company
money all these days.