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**Ahmethoca** · 12-21-2006, 03:08 PM

Johnny and new teacher

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

**Ahmethoca** · 12-21-2006, 03:09 PM

Johnny speaking english

Teacher: "Johnny, give me a sentence starting with 'I'"

Little Johnny: "I is..."

Teacher: "No, Little Johnny. Always say 'I am.'"

Little Johnny: "All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

**Ahmethoca** · 12-21-2006, 03:11 PM

F in Arithmetic

Little Johnny returned from school and told his father that he'd gotten an "F" in arithmetic.

"Why?" asked the father.

"The teacher asked me 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said '6,'" replied Johnny.

"But that's right!" exclaimed his father.

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'" explained Johnny.

"What the Fuck is the difference?" asked his father.

"That's what I said!!" replied Johnny.

**Ahmethoca** · 12-21-2006, 03:13 PM

In a mexican school

There's this school down in South Texas where there are very few white kids, mostly all Mexican. The teacher was asking for the kids to identify famous quotes.

She asked, "Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country'?"

Little Johnny raises his hand, but she calls on Maria, who answers, "John F Kennedy."

Then, she asks "Who said, 'I have a dream...'?"

Little Johnny raises his hands, both of them, and waves them around, but she calls on Juan, who says, "Martin Luther King."

This continues with quotes from Winston Churchill and other notable historians. Finally, the bell rings, and in the confusion and noise of the kids leaving the classroom, a voice from the back of the room yells, "To hell with all those Mexicans."

The teacher hollers out, "Who said that!"

Little Johnny puts up his hand and replies, "Davy Crockett, at the Alamo."

**Ahmethoca** · 12-21-2006, 03:14 PM

Johnny as new driver
Johnny has just received his driver's license. His family goes out to the driveway and climbs into the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the backseat, directly behind the new driver.

"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.

"Nope," replies his father, "I'm going to sit here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years!"

**Ahmethoca** · 12-21-2006, 03:16 PM

Doing badly in math

Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything, tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short everything that they could think of.

Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down & enrolled him in the local Catholic School.

After the first day, little Johnny comes home with a very serious look on his face.

He doesn't kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room & starts studying. Books and paper are spread out all over the room & Little Johnny is hard at work.

His mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner & to her shock, the minute he is done he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back hitting the books as hard as before. This goes on for some time, day after day while the Mother tries to understand what made all the difference.

Finally, Little Johnny brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the table & goes up to his room and hits the books.

With great trepidation, his mom looks at it & to her surprise, Little Johnny got an A in Math.

She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room & says: "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?" little Johnny looks at her and shakes his head no.

"Well then," She asks "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it??"

Little Johnny looks at her and say "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."

***gaffur*** · 12-22-2006, 09:32 AM

i like little jonny

Thread Info
Thread Subject Little Johnny Jokes	Thread Replies 6
Thread Author Ahmethoca	Thread Views 114