Famous (And Not So Famous) Quotes



W.C. Fields
"There's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender."

Ex-Fireman
"At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster."

Popular Mechanics, 1949
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."

Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."

Unknown
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want mustard with that?"

Jack Handy
...Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me,that's what her dinner tasted like...

Unknown
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they pissed me off.

Unknown
With proper diet, rest, and exercise a healthy body will last a lifetime.
Edward Flaherty
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
A Conformist
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity.
"Consumer's Guide", Sears, Roebuck and Co. (1897)
If you don't find it in the Index,look very carefully through the entire catalogue.

ohh i like it

ı can't see the jokes:@

ok just trying..,
a geology professor,a physic professor and a chemist was searching the grounds on a hill.then storms and rain started ,they saw a shed to hide and they run ,knocked to door and an old man welcome them in.
he brought them the towels to them to get dried and went to the kitchen to boil some water to make tea.
there was a stove on the middle of the room and it was standing on the stones.
geology prof.said-hey look the old man is clever.he put the stones under the stove in the case of the ground moves..
physic prof. said-no he made the stove in the middle of heights to heat everywhere in the room wth same temperature.
and the chemist said -no he did it because the stones must protecting to get poisened wth the coals and smokes of the stove.
then the old man got in the room in the middle of arguing.
and each of them asked him to confirm what they said and asked "tell us why"?
he said:"pipes were not long enough".